- Tigers
The wonderful thing about Tiggers. They are gorgeous, dangerous, powerful, skilled, and courageous – and they can swim!
2. Lions
King of the Jungle – what more can I say? They can take down a buffalo or chase down a Springbok. And they (mostly the males) sleep for 20 hours a day, which is what I could easily aspire to.
3. Polar Bears
They look so huggable, but they can take down a full grown walrus, and they can walk barefooted on the ice.
4. Duck-billed platypus
God was in a playful mood when he designed this one! An egg-laying mammal which suckles its young, has a beak like a duck, has spurs on its hindfeet that produces toxic venom, and can swim better than Michael Phelps.
5. Foxes
Small to medium sized animals that are related to jackals, wolves and domestic dogs. They have floofy tails and sticky-up ears. Sneaky, cunning, intelligent, cute and overall amazeballs. And they’ve got more street smarts than half the population of Brooklyn.
6. Eagle
Beautiful birds that don’t poop on your car – at least, I don’t think so. They’re a symbol of America’s pride and freedom – and funnily enough featured prominently on the coat of arms of that country where Hitler used to hold meetings. The eagles are so big that they can swoop and pick up a dog or small human.
7. Great White Shark
Sharks are friendly and stuff, but they like to eat bits off humans (especially surfers). They feature in lots of movies and have been portrayed as awesome predators. I love the way sharks move effortlessly through the water and they are so pretty. Apparently, they are more afraid of humans than we are of them.
8. Dolphins
They always look like they are smiling, and they take humans for rides. Dolphins are smart, too. Douglas Adams, in his book “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”, said that “Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than dolphins because he has achieved so much – the wheel, New York, wars and so on – while all the dolphins had ever done was much about in the water having a good time.”
9. Aardvark
In the beginning was the word, and the word was Aardvark. It literally translates as Earth Pig, and eats ants and termites. Any animal who gets rid of those two pests is good in my book.
10. Elephant
The African Elephant in particular. This massive creature has no natural predators (apart from stupid humans), rips trees out of the ground by the roots, takes mud baths, and has a long trunk, big ears and tusks. They are also very family orientated, have graveyards and mourn their dead.
Don’t believe everything you read, though – they can’t really fly.
11. Dung beetle
They literally feed on shit and seem to enjoy it! Some species can bury dung 250 times their own mass in one night – which translates to about one elephant poop.
12. Floofy kitty cats
The most awesome domestic animal ever! They come in all shapes and sizes and colours; they can play with a piece of string or chase a laser pointer light for hours; they can sleep for hours – like their bigger family member the lion; and they can hunt their own food.
Cats star in millions of YouTube videos and are the best thing since Nutella pancakes.
13. Unicorns
Although not strictly an earthbound animal, Unicorns can apparently poop rainbows, which is pretty cool.
14. Dragons
Not strictly an earthbound animal either, Dragons are awesome because they are like Dinosaurs (just cooler) and they can fly and breathe fire. In the Chinese culture, they are believed to bring good fortune and wealth, which is what I need. Just saying.
15. Bees
A honey-bee can fly up to six miles, and as fast as fifteen miles per hour. It would have to fly 90,000 miles to make one pound of honey.
All I know is that one bee can make one or several humans run away screaming. That is awesome. Oh, and according to Einstein, if bees disappeared from Earth, man would have four years left to live.
As far as I’m concerned, the whole animal kingdom is awesome. It was very difficult to hone this list down to 15. Drop dead, hunters.
David Owen Nunes
David is many faceted, fascinating, fastidious, fair, fabulous and the other F word. He works in the Pensions Industry, plays occasional golf, and dreams of being able to write full time.
