If there was no such thing as night, the sun would run out twice as fast. Which would mean my Bat mitzvah would have to be moved up about 300 billion years.
I suppose astronomy is interesting enough, but as far as I’m concerned black holes suck.
Some people lead me to believe that the whole solar system was formed by a single cloud of gas. I believe that, if that it the case, there would be a whole galaxy formed around my gaseous derriere.
If you really need to know, astronomers (or cosmologists as they like to be known these days) research stuff flying through space, trying to find out what they are, where they come from and how they have grown up (nature, origin and evolution). It’s like they use the whole universe as their lab rat.
Grandma’s rays and radio waves and cosmic rays are used. Cosmic rays are messages from outer aliens and crash into the earth’s atmosphere or magnetic field. The messages are then interpreted by cosmolologists (sic) using their highly evolved imagination and some of their university knowledge.
Cosmolollygogs sometimes use telescopes and testing devices, like the Hubble space telescope. The photographs and data sent back to planet Earth is then analysed by huge computers, which are now about twenty thousand times smaller than the one in the 1940’s. They have to use the information they have in their brains and in the theorems they have devised to make models that confuse the living shite out of all of us.
Cosmolollygiggles must have an interest in physics and mathematics. Also, they work on their own, and as such must have perseverance, self-motivation, patience and the ability to handle disappointment. In other words, they have to look at the stars and data for long periods of time with very little feedback.
If you can’t multiply the sum of the square root of nine hundred and sixteen thousand and five sixths without the use of a calculator, you probably aren’t the right candidate for astronomy, sorry cosmolollypop.
Our solar system has an elliptical shape. Terry Pratchett reckons it rests on the back of a tortoise. Funny thing is, we can’t prove either theory. We know that NASA uses Photoshop for their pictures, and to get funding for the ongoing research into space. We all know that our money goes a long way, when it comes to NASA. It goes further out into space than any other money we know.
The sun contains most of the mass in our solar system, and exerts a gravitational pull on all the other planets. It’s like she has control of them and doesn’t want to let them go. Well, at least she gave them some space.
Stephen Hawking is like the Elvis Presley of the astronomy world. He has brought the new science of Cosmology to the everyday man, making it fun and interesting, despite his being unable to write by himself. Speaking with the aid of a computer simulated voice, he has managed to communicate to an audience previously disinterested in this field. I’m not sure that someone as intelligent as Stephen Hawking is actually human. It’s possible this Professor is computerised ….
David Owen Nunes
David is many faceted, fascinating, fastidious, fair, fabulous and the other F word. He works in the Pensions Industry, plays occasional golf, and dreams of being able to write full time.
