An adult generally needs 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night, which translates (for most of us) to a serious lack of screentime. To achieve maximum Facebook, Instagram or Tik Tok points, you need to scroll for at least four or five hours a day.
If I do my calculations correctly, that means:
8 Hours at work
8 Hours for sleep
1 Hour for eating
0.25 Hours on the potty
0.5 Hours for smoke breaks
1 – 2 Hours for travel
0.5 Hours for shopping
0.5 Hours for cooking
15 minutes looking for the car keys
5 minutes for sexual intercourse
1 Hour to write a shitty blog post
1 Hour for hair and makeup (depending on your hygiene)
Which does not leave terribly much time for watching hilarious dog and cat videos. So what normally happens is that I, for instance, keep scrolling until the small hours of the morning – or until my eyeballs feel like sandpaper – or until my mobile phone falls onto my face.
It’s true: the long-term effects of sleep deprivation are real – or in the above example the short-term effects of TikTok. Seriously, though, sleep deprived humans can suffer with a whole bunch of health problems.
I’m not drunk, I’m sleep deprived
Your concentration, problem-solving ability and creativity are affected when you have too little sleep. It’s a lot like being drunk and disorderly: you have issues trying to focus on your wife and instead you favour YouTube videos; you can’t work out where you left the car in Grand Theft Auto; and you spend four hours on Toon Blast, instead of reading up about the Russian Revolution.
High Blood Pressure
If you sleep less than five hours a night, it can cause high blood pressure. I know I lose blood pressure in my right thumb from scrolling too long and my butt goes numb from sitting in one position for too long. The high blood pressure comes in when I’ve been sitting on the same level of some dumb game for three hours and I want to break my x-box into a thousand pieces.
Diabetes
Apparently, lack of sleep can affect the release of insulin into your body. Insulin regulates the level of blood sugar. This could lead to higher levels of blood sugar and Type 2 diabetes.
Personally, I tend to snack eat more chocolates and junk food while I’m gaming, which naturally causes a higher level of sugar in my blood.
Weight gain
Pretty obvious right. Less sleep, more opportunity to stuff pretzels into your face. It’s got something to do with your body not telling you when you are full – because of sleep deprivation.
Other results of sleep deprivation
Low sex-drive; lack of balance; weak immunity; mood changes.
Give me more sleep
Here are some things you can do to get better quality sleep:
Ditch your electronic devices – Leave your Kindle, Mobile Phone, TV, Laptop, Tablet, and Smart Speaker downstairs (or in another room).
Get comfortable – make sure you have your favourite teddy (or wife) with you, so that you can snuggle.
Get a good pillow – make sure your pillow supports your style of sleep, even if you’re like me and your arms and neck are stretched into impossible angles.
Drink not – Don’t drink too much (especially alcohol in large quantities) just before snooze time. You might drown in puke or have a need to visit the potty during the night.
Om om om – Meditation seems to help some people get to sleep. It clears the mind of unnecessary clutter and can help get a more restful sleep.
Exercise – being physically active allows the body to rest better. Make sure you aren’t exhausted, though, as that can be counter-productive.
The bottom line is: get some quality sleep and then you’ll get to have that mansion, that woman (or man) that you drool over, and that Ferrari you’ve always wanted – in your dreams.
David Owen Nunes
David is many faceted, fascinating, fastidious, fair, fabulous and the other F word. He works in the Pensions Industry, plays occasional golf, and dreams of being able to write full time.
