The Advantages of Drinking Coke

When I was young I lived near one bloke,
Who pretty much chugged nothing but coke.
I know because his sister was very pretty,
And because I wanted to stroke her kitty.

I reckoned I should grab a coca-cola,
And maybe a flower like a gladiola,
Go over there and introduce myself,
Instead of sitting here on my lonesome shelf.

I went down to the local store,
Feeling like a bull to a matador,
But there are were so many, I mean:
Diet, Cherry, Zero, and the one with no Caffeine.

So I grabbed the soda and a bar of granola,
Hoping that the combo wouldn’t give me ebola,
It turned out to be very effervescent,
That when I thought we would get to a crescent,
The only cherry that was close to broke,
Was that soda they call Cherry Coke.

Fizzy drinks

Coke has 39 grams of sugar in a 355ml can and 140 calories. Redbull energy drink has 27 grams in 250ml with 108 calories. So they are very similar. Both are full of sugar and chemicals and have zero nutritional value; even so-called “diet” and “no-sugar” drinks can cause serious damage to your body.

Various studies have been done on fizzy drinks:

They increase the risk of cancer

It annoys me intensely every time I see that something causes cancer – virtually everything seems to cause cancer these days. I’m not sure I believe half the things they tell me cause cancer, but here’s another one.

Apparently drinking just two can of soft drinks a week can double the risk of developing pancreatic cancer, because it increases the amount of insulin produced.

One can a day could increase the chance of developing prostate cancer by 40 percent.

Two cans a day could increase the risk of breast cancer by 20 percent.

The coloring in some sodas can increase the risk of cancer.

Leads to diabetes

Well, hello! Chucking that much sugar down your throat will make your insulin get onto the swings and roundabouts.

Raises heart disease

Scientists linked the percentage of sugars versus calories consumed with an increase in heart disease. Three cans a day could triple the risk of heart disease.

Liver problems

Chances of developing a fatty liver increases, and if left untreated cirrhosis of the liver also increases. Long-term consumption could lead to liver failure and the potential need for a transplant.

Pregnant woman

A study has shown pregnant women were more likely to give birth prematurely if they drank artificially sweetened soft drink. It is not known whether the fetus is adversely affected or has
withdrawal symptoms after the birth – and is strictly restricted to breast milk.

Brain altering

Fizzy, sugary drinks can change the protein levels in your brain, which could lead to hyperactivity. Many a student can be found indulging in coke or energy drinks or other drugs to stay awake and party / study all night.

Premature aging

Fizzy drinks contain phosphates, which can make you old before your time. You could get all wrinkly and gross and contract kidney disease and cardiovascular calcification.

Premature fatness

All that sugar can expand your waistline exponentially. It’s not just the Coke, it’s the crisps and donuts and stuff that naturally accompany it.

Alzheimer’s  

I forget.

The advantages of drinking Coke and other soda and having icecream and chocolate and donuts and Nutella sandwiches and syrup and sweeties

They are a foodgroup all by themselves.

They taste awesome.

You won’t be miserable in your old age. (You will die before that).